How can I believe in anything
When you were my everything
My last hope
And you didn’t just let me down
You savagely ripped me apart
Then blamed me for the blood on your sleeves
I don’t feel safe
Anywhere
With anyone
Everything feels foreign
I’ve never been so lost
I’ve been in quick sand before
I’ve felt violence before
But not from someplace that felt like home
From a man I thought was my savior
Then to blame me using wrongs done to me in the past
Laughing at me with my family
And yours you told me was my own
Like everyone has done before
I needed to speak my truth
I needed you to know
But you shut me up
And told me to stop feeling
You don’t see anything for what it was
As I followed you across the globe
Expecting me to take it like a man
I thought you’d keep me safe
As I watched impoverished people being taken advantage of
While white men claimed to be saviors
For fucking them in the streets
Throwing gold at their feet
I told you I didn’t want to be around it
You told me I hated their culture
It wasn’t them
It was all of you
Pretending it was okay
You aren’t saving anyone
Your using them
Like you used me
Then told me I was less than nothing
Because I couldn’t pretend any of it was okay
Jōb Nikki 
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