My femininity
Comes off as masculinity
As I bark
Much louder than I bite
Because I’ve never had a man
Defend me to the world
That threatened
Then acted on intentions
To force me into shapes
The body was never intended to make
My anger is unsettling
Like a dog
That was beaten
Timid then unhinged
Everyone hates nonconformity
Unless it’s in a song
About sticking it to the man
You’ve become that figure
Holding me by the throat
Over promises broken
Unable to face the mistakes committed
I know I’m not always right
But my wisdom has been earned
As deafening as it is
As it falls on your insolent ears
“I’ve never met a woman like you”
First exciting
Then exhausting
Knowing you need to be healed
Not with superiority
But always through honesty
Soft when petted gently
My aggression that much more
Unsettling once it appears
I can’t be right
Because sometimes I was wrong
There is no morality
When we keep coming back to insecurity
Glass houses and throwing the first stone
I always return to this
To thine own self be true
But no one wants an honest woman
Especially one displaying your reflection
Onto broke down walls
From convictions declared in a court of law
I’ve been wrong
I’ll say it again
I’ve been wrong
I’ve done my time
I’ve paid more than was owed
But sometimes I’m right
And I was taught to fight
By my spirit that’s been caged
Freed only through isolation
The only home I’ve ever known
I sit in my own indignation
At all the ways
You thought you made me strong
Spayed to ensure my voice would be neutral
My mother’s tongue swallowed during insurrection
I’d love to be soft and feminine
At first I was with you
But I can’t control my molten temper
When my opinions are overlooked
Especially when I see suffering
Inhumanity
And blatant wrongs
Committed by men
Who do it because they can
I’d do it again
With blackened eyes
And bleeding ears
Unable to resist
The very thing you hate most in me
Is what makes me so enticing
The opportunity for exponential growth
Then pride and a battle for power
Forces us both down
To an unforgiving underworld
Where gloves come off
And hits are swung
How I’d love to love you
But I can’t always be wrong
Jōb Nikki 
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