Jōb Nikki

“Invisible”

I used to want

No need my efforts to be recognized

I used to want

No need my goodness to be believed

I used to want

No need my story to be heard

But after having everyone

Take the gnarled up branches of my attempt

At a happy life

With its perfection and its flaws

Setting them on fire

And tying me up to watch

Feeling pain being ripped from my bones

Hurt at depths I didn’t know was possible

Now I simply want to disappear

To a state of invisibility

Knowing no one truly wants you near

They want to drop you off at a facility

And say that will make you better

Knowing deep down inside that’s just more hurt

To pile onto my broken back

No

I don’t want anyone

To see me

I don’t want anyone to pretend to care

I just want to be invisible

And slowly drift away

Until everything

Finally becomes clear