You wouldn’t believe me
My friend
If I were to tell you
All that I’ve lost
Slowly and painfully watching everything go
While everyone expected me to take it with grace
I was dissolving inside
Like lightly layered tissue paper
Absorbing pure acetone
First it was my color
Then it was my shape
Everything has faded away
I don’t know what to mourn first
As each layer was what makes life
Worth living
But it was too much
Of that I’m certain
How everyone circled
And pointed at me
Some with grotesque sympathy
Others with a hunger
For morbid entertainment
I’m trying to hold on
I swear
But there isn’t much
No
Let’s be honest
Nothing is left
I don’t have the spirit to overcome
Like I did when I was young
I just want to be left alone
But there’s nowhere to call home anymore
Did I cause this
Sure
But nothing about it is fair
Or within any conceivable scale
What hurts the most
Is the ones who should have loved me
Even worse
The ones who claimed
They could
Only solidifying this curse
As they laugh at my despair
Someday I’ll be dirt
And my ashes will scream
“She was here!
She tried
She loved
And all of you
Killed her
One chunk at a time”
Jōb Nikki 
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