Part One:
Rattled by the movement
I can’t figure you out
Knowing you
When you were outlined in pure sunlight
Then to see you rot from the inside out
I wish I could say
It was all my fault
Some of it was
Throwing your ashes in the air
Screaming to wake you up
But you can’t handle guilt
Something even I don’t want you to carry
But we have to talk about your vices
The dirt you used to cover it up
The cave you placed me in
When you promised
That was never a strategy
You’d ever carry out
Choosing humans who were up to no good
A pattern you’ve seemed to follow
Since you were young
I’ve got demons
They come out when I feel unsafe and unheard
I’m not saying it’s okay to set fire to the prairie
But you ignore the wolves you let loose
In our home
Feeling it was an emergency
A danger that would obliterate everything
We had made together
Planned together
Through love
A relationship isn’t one sided
Responsibility isn’t only for the less advantaged
You don’t get to tell me to fully rely on you
Then preach from the pulpit
That I took advantage of you
I’ve seen you be fair
I’ve seen you be good
I can’t stand seeing you
Running from yourself
Only knowing the lies will get bigger
The offenses more unfair
We saw this progression
Which I tried to point out
Always with the intention of repairing
Not shaming
But you turned into the other men
Setting me up
You handed me liquor
Then watched as I acted out
Using the recordings as justification
To finally rip me apart
Telling everyone it’s always been me
You have proof
But darling here we are
It’s just you and me
And the lies keep bubbling out
You know everything about me
You twist wrongs against me
Because you know you can
Nothing will be solved when you let anger
For what you did
Turn into hatred for who I am
For pointing it
“Moving Parts”
Part Two:
Maybe this is a stalemate
Because I won’t back down from the truth
But you won’t be wrong
And there’s no fixing that
I’ve told you it isn’t punishment
It’s an attempt to repair the partnership
But you spew hatred at me
Using language you picked up
From confiding in my enemies
The saddest part
Is I know you are better than this monster
Who is getting joy
From tearing me apart
Because it makes you feel bigger
Temporary until the night
When the truth hits your heart
The shallow beat you try to muffle
Because a good man lives inside
I’ve seen men who were lost
And you’ve still got time
But if you feed your soul with the words
Of fools
The ones taking prostitutes
Like it’s their right
The ones whispering in your ear
I was always too much
While they dream of cheating on their wives
You’ll become one of them
A lost boy hiding in your pride
Excusing disgusting behavior
Because of a mirage
Of women always doing you wrong
Honey
You’re better than that
Maybe you aren’t strong enough to do what is right
But I won’t stop showing you your reflection
Hoping he’s still inside
Because I want you back
As the man who was brave
Who fought for what was right
I understand this world is exhausting
And it’s easier to give in
But you’ll always be fighting
Thinking it’s them
When really it’s you
You won’t let inside
I’m ready to be better
One step at a time
But I can’t drag you with me
Or force you to march in a line
I can tell you I love you
While you tell me I lie
I’ll be saving space for you
But only for so much time
Jōb Nikki 
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