“Focus”
Trying to find peace within
Letting go of everything
I am a monk with no material things
They can’t take anymore away
Peace in knowing I’m still here
Trying my best to survive
It’s dramatic and draining
I’m worthless and tiring
But maybe I can find a piece of me
That used to dance and sing
Taking joy in simpler things
It’s a relief to be free from the bottle
I fought so long thinking it was an escape
But it just brought my whole world down
Trying to run from the pain
Now I let that all sink in
I place it here
Hoping each syllable
Will wash away a piece of hurt
And bring me back to a place
Of worthiness
Where I can be loved and trusted
Comforted and cared for
I have to believe I’m worth those things
Life will keep going
Some will be in luxury suites
While I find contentment in the ordinary things
But life decided it should be this way
So I’ll trust that something good is coming my way
Forgiving myself for crying
Proud of myself for trying
Life please be kind
I have no more room for hurt
In the crevices of my mind
Jōb Nikki 
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