“Jealousy”
Leaving bread crumbs trying to turn me green
Only makes me more translucent
Losing your power and steam
I don’t know if you just want to hurt me
But it doesn’t make me want you
It doesn’t make me wish I was where you are
I still remember disgusting conversations
A rapid fire of misogynistic hate-filled texts
And indignant attitudes about me
Demanding apologies for black eyes and broken ear drums
If you want to hurt me
I’m already bleeding on the floor
You not caring about my struggle to survive
Because of where you left me
Making me have to fly across the globe alone
Coming back to a country with slamming doors
Was a deathly blow
There’s no more hurt to be had
So here I am numb and invisible
Are you proud
Does it make you feel better
A real man would take accountability
A real man would make things right
A real man would ensure the woman he loved
Wasn’t left in a field to die
You claimed when we first met
You’d never leave a woman you had loved
Destitute
But here I sit
The one with no support system
The one who was always trying her best
In an ice-coated ditch filled with razor blades
While you get angry at my pictures and poetry
While talking to woman about how you gave me everything
Glossing over your lies, abuse of power, and violence
This couldn’t be anyone I had ever loved
Uncertain if you lost your mind
Or I was blind
If you can’t face the man you’ve become
Or you were always putting on an act
But jealousy will never be something
You have over me
Real love doesn’t work like that
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