Jōb Nikki

“Someone I Once Knew”

Plummeting into the abyss

I feel so dumb

Trying to cling to loosened roots

No longer strong enough 

To hold my weight

As I gave into dark thoughts

And woke up seizing 

Gasping for stale air

Nobody was aware

Except the ones who should have cared

But instead only tried to cause more pain

Feeling tension between my ribs

Knowing I have to face the dawn

Alone

Again

Watching the sky explode

Knowing somewhere someone has somebody

Making the loneliness that much deeper

Watching familiar faces turn into blurs

Understanding fighting it 

Only makes the implosion stronger

As comfort seems foreign

And love is impossible to hold

Using breathing strategies to cope

Pretending they help

As the trees begin to fall

The ocean swells

Almost as much as my eyes

There’s no practice 

Created to help with this

Only brutal experience

So I thrust my chin forward

Let the glass shards

Pummel into my pale cheeks

Using the tears to cover up the scars

Kneeling in weakness

Finally collapsing

Into emotions

I wish someone I once knew

Was here