“I know”
I know now I was only a band aide
For him to walk out of his marriage
While I made him my entire world
Thinking he was my king
I know now the bravest man
Was actually a coward
Using my need for him
To make him feel strong
He needed my love and confidence
To boost himself up
But he wasn’t really looking to save anyone
But himself
I was in a desperate situation so I gobbled it up
I believed she must have cheated on him
And took advantage
Like he said
When I can only imagine what he tells his next victim
What was going on in our bed
He can’t tell her the truth
That less than two months ago he sat on my chest
Punching me in the face
Telling me I was worthless
Knowing he’d get away with with it
Because as he kept reminding me
We were no longer in the states
He didn’t want to hang out with a pervert
Because it was his brother’s friend
But because it was also him
He wanted the experience
He now tries to rub in my face
As I try to recover from the financial abuse
He created leaving me barely off of the streets
Like beating me
And leaving me with less than nothing isn’t enough
Because what he really wanted
Was it all
For me to put my head down and say it was my fault
To let him remain the savior
Pretending my black eye was self defense
To go off to a hospital and get better
While he played in the streets of Pattaya
Pretending to be so brave and so strong
Needing comfort from paid beds
But he’s a little man
With selfish desires
A need to be a hero
With no accountability for his own nefarious deeds
A real man wouldn’t let any woman he loved
End up where I am
Cause her harm in every way imaginable
Then continue to vacation
Claiming to be a victim
Sleeping with women he feels entitled to
When he left the last ones nearly dead
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